Saving the Children
Hardly a day passes when there is not some article published by some news source linking video games to violent behavior in children. These articles inevitably point to some study indicating that children who play violent video games are more apt to be violent offenders at some point in their lives.
Recently, Hillary Clinton had a fit because of a patch for the video game "Grand Theft Auto" that allowed users to view and participate in "graphic" sex scenes. I imagine she only became enraged when her husband downloaded the patch and spent hours "playing".
I find it ironic that she was so enraged at the issuance of the patch or its availability to those wanting to have sex in a video game. Ironic because the game continually encourages players to shoot people (including police) and to steal and avoid being caught by authorities as they traipse through their missions.
I can't see why anyone would be more offended at that than they are at the violence that is depicted in the game. Sex, after all, is a natural act that brings pleasure to those engaging in it. Furthermore, without sex the human animal would cease to exist. But, I digress.
It is my contention that it is not violence in video games that is responsible for children being violent but, instead, their parents. You see, in today's world parents no longer spend much time with their kids. Instead, they plop them down in front of the television to watch long hours of idiocy in the form of cartoons. Furthermore, instead of taking the time to think of ways to entertain their children they buy them video games.
Ironically, they end up suing the video game manufacturer because of violence or heinous acts, which they determine are the cause of their children's playing the games. Sadly, had they bothered to investigate the game before purchasing it they might have had a clue as to what the game was about. But, it's easier to let a store clerk put the kibosh on a sale, based on maturity rating, than it is to actually do it all by their lonesome.
As a consequence to the current method of raising children we have things called a "V-Chip". It allows a parent to take the minimal amount of time necessary to see to it that their kids don't watch anything "offensive" to their senses. After programming the TV to eliminate certain programming they can go about their daily business as if their child no longer existed, secure in the knowledge that they are raising their children properly.
Yes, we have let big brother legislate video game ratings, force TV manufacturers to install "V-Chips" and to put warnings on music labels so that adults no longer have to supervise their children. Ain't it grand?
When I was a child there was less violence and other aberrant behavior. It was during the first big video game boom. During this time I could be found at my local liquor store blasting away at aliens or robots, jerking the joystick back and forth in a frenzy of childhood glee.
When I was forced to return home I was able to pull out my Atari 2600 or my Intellevision and blast some more. The only draw bck was that my parents actually limited the amount of time that I could play games. When that time was up I was forced to find other ways to amuse myself. There were many days when I could be found out in the yard playing shoot-em-up with my neighbors with a toy gun.
As soon as it was dark my parents pulled me into the house where I was forced to sit with them and eat a nutritious dinner and converse with my parents. There were no "Happy Meals" in those days. I didn't get a toy with my dinner and the TV remote sucked. Furthermore, the TV was often off limits during dinnertime. In other words, we had to talk to each other.
During the summer we often had to find ways to amuse ourselves. And, if we became too much of a bother to our parents they found things for us to do. Woeful was I when I told my mother that I was bored. She always found something for me to do like wash the car or to mow the lawn.
On the off chance that there was not much to do my parents would find ways to keep me amused while amusing themselves. I will never forget the day when I wandered through the yard with a saltshaker, hoping to shake some salt on a birds tail so that I could catch it.
It was several frustrating hours later when my grandmother revealed to me that if I got close enough to a bird to shake salt on it's tail that I was close enough to catch it. I could have spit fire when I realized that I had been duped. When I recovered my temper I was able to laugh about it. That is until I saw the video that they shot of me sneaking around, barefoot, hoping to shake a little salt on a bird's tail.
This is a lesson that I have taken to heart. You see there is no harm in duping a child in such a manner. In fact, it builds character. And so, when my daughter needed something to occupy her time I remembered that little lesson. Then, I used it to my advantage.
It was a warm day. The sun was shining and birds were chirping. My daughter, all of six years old had just finished watching an educational program about birds. In the aftermath she had related that she wished she could fly like a bird. And so I told her that she could, in fact, fly like a bird. And taking a page from my childhood reading (The Hitchhikers Guide) I told her that the trick to flying was to throw herself at the ground and miss. Thus began a terribly frustrating day for her.
Being the kind parent that I am I cleared a large portion of our living room for her. Once it was clear of any potentially damaging objects I told her that she could go ahead and practice throwing herself at the ground and missing.
For nearly thirty minutes she tried and tried to miss the ground after hurling herself at it. Seeing that she was getting frustrated, I told her that the trouble was that her aim was too good. So, in order to help her, I threw a pillow to the floor and told her to try to miss it. Ironically, she had difficulty missing.
Nearly a half an hour later she had finally mastered the ability of missing the pillow. It was then that I suggested she lose the pillow and try missing the ground. Again, she began trying to miss the ground only giving up after nearly an hour of failure.
By this time it was nearing dinner. And so, sweating and tired I sent her to the bathroom to wash up, telling her that she could try again tomorrow.
Later that night my girlfriend and I reveled in the humor of watching her desperately try to miss the ground and take flight. To this day I have not told her that flight is not possible. I suspect that I never will, preferring she discover my scam on her own.
And this, dear reader, is why we have so much violence. It is not video games or TV shows. It is because parents no longer bother trying to find amusing ways to wear their children to the point that they are too tired to commit a crime. Instead, they would rather leave it to TV and our school system to raise our children.
If
you want to keep your child out of jail and off of drugs, wear them out. Beat
them down. Make certain that they believe that you know more than they. Finally,
have them beat themselves up for being dumb enough for believing your stupid tricks.
They will never second guess you so long as you can make them feel foolish.
