The IRA - Who's in charge?
The Irish Republican Army just lost one of their big bosses. It seems that he was a spy for the Brits and was recently exposed and had to flee Ireland. He is said to be suspected of being allowed by an army intelligence unit to get away with up to 40 murders.
Now, the funny thing about this is that his name is Alfredo Scappaticci. What’s more, this guy was a spy for about 25 years. Ironically he was among the top tier of the IRA's so-called "Nutting Squad," which had the job of tracing informers. Oh, he was also codenamed “stakeknife”.
Leave it to the Irish to have a big dog who was not only an Italian spy for the British but in charge of ferreting out traitors to the IRA’s cause.
Now, you would have thought that the “Stakeknife” would have been ferreted out by even the drunkest Irishman. You would have thought that the well-tailored pin striped suits would have given him away. I mean no self-respecting Italian killer would be caught dead in a kilt or with a bagpipe.
And what about the food? The guy is Italian for crisakes! He likes food with flavor! The Irish are not known for their cuisine. Can you see an Italian eating blood pie? No!
And didn’t the fact that he was so good at killing without being caught make anyone suspicious? Really, when was the last time the Irish were good at anything except drinking, darts and starting fights? Trust me on this – I’m half Irish – we drink, play darts, start fights and bleed. It’s all we’re good at. Really!
Quick hint to the IRA – the next time you hire someone to do work for you try to make certain of who he is. If he is big on pasta or any food with flavor don’t hire him. If he can name all 32 counties of Ireland don’t hire him (no self respecting Irishman can). If he is not good at darts don’t hire him. If he is dark and swarthy don’t hire him.
Really, you guys have to have a better screening process. I mean, if you want to be respected by your fellow terrorists you need to consider getting a better human resources director.
Wait, let me guess, your
HR director is Italian, too, right?