Some Commercials Just Suck Ass
The commercial starts with a mother and her daughter doing work in their garden. The soft music starts and then the daughter turns to her mother and asks, “Mom, do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?”
Cue the voice over telling us all about the new miracle douche that makes you feel fresh and clean. The voice tells us how it’s cleansing effects and easy applicator makes it easy to use while the screen flashes on the glorified enema bag they call a douche.
The commercial ends with the daughter thanking the mother and telling her how she is going to use the gentle formula. Mom replies by saying, “Extra cleansing for me.”
Fade to black.
Now, the commercial is bad enough without the closing line. But I really want to know what in the hell is up inside of Mom. I mean, what are the requirements to need an extra cleansing douche? Now, I am a guy. I do not claim to know all about that stuff. But, it seems to me that if you need those extra cleansing scrubbing bubbles that there may be more of a problem than you are letting on. It might be time to follow up the douche commercial with Mom walking into her gynecologist and getting the guano scooped out of her cave.
And what about poor Dad? Dad is the guy putting the screws to this skank night after miserable night. What the hell is he risking by dipping his stick in Mom’s nasty cave of horrors? Nobody seems to care about this poor shlub. This would be the perfect time for a divorce lawyer commercial that shows Dad getting the house, the money and the horny Swedish housekeeper.
Of course, Mom would end up on “Cops” getting cuffed by the police and carted off to jail for brandishing a weapon at her ex-husband. She is summarily used by the biggest chick in the jail and renamed “Sticky Drawers” for the crap that leaks from between her legs.
No one likes poor hygiene, not even prison skanks.
