Cher's final concert
Well, after years and years of performing, Cher has decided to retire.
I must say that I will be sad to see her expressionless countenance leave the stage. Maybe now she can stop getting all of those botox shots that leave her face look like a perfectly made up cadaver devoid of any expression but surprise. No longer will I get to enjoy new musical compositions by Cher and her brain trust of musical talent that puts so many new faces on the same old songs that are as expressionless as her face. No longer will I get to enjoy her strange and disfiguring tattoo’s that adorn her skinny little body.
And since she will now be officially unemployed I thought that I would offer some new career possibilities. So, without further adieu, here are my suggestions:
· Department store mannequin:
Her total lack of expression would be perfect for this job. And she could
have a new set of clothes every day.
· Clown: Her constant look of surprise and her general overuse of make-up
makes her a shoo-in for this.
· Politician: Her constant banal meanderings makes her perfect for
a life in politics. Plus, her total lack of a change in expression means that
she could lie, cheat and steal and never give herself away.
· Info-Mercials: She won’t shut up anyhow and they like people
to look amazed. She has the perfect surprised look to be constantly amazed
at the lame products that they shill.
· Race Horse: Her horse face and long skinny body makes her perfect
for a feed-bag.
· Cadaver: She is already made up like one. And so long as she doesn’t
talk she could pass for a cadaver any day.
So, fear not, Cher. You have other occupations awaiting you. And if none of these possibilities is to your liking I can come up with a bunch of other new occupations. So, remember, if you need a new job idea…I got you, babe.
