Vote for the Amphibian!
What with all the jockeying done by all the Democrats who are trying to get their party’s nomination to run against George Bush for president I thought I would throw my hat into the ring.
First thing I am doing is forming a new political party. So, I sent a registration form into the feds and told them that I was forming a new party and I am trying to get funding for it. So, if you want to send money to me, feel free. Cash only, please.
This party shall henceforth be known as the Frog Union. The Frog Unions (or FU) mascot will be the tree frog. (seen here)
Of course, every political party needs a platform so does the F.U. platform, so here it is…
The FU shall attempt to get women’s suffrage repealed and declared as a drunken act that was only supposed to be a joke. This will be called the “Women’s Suffrage Means Men’s Suffering” act..
The FU vows to make it illegal for the government to tax stuff that has already been taxed. This will be called the “No Shit” act.
The FU vows to declare Ted Kennedy as a toxic waste dump. And we will revoke his right to appear in public sober or drunk in a bathing suit except in Syria, Iran, Germany, and France. This will be known as the “Kindness to the Sighted” act.
The FU will ensure the right of all persons of legal age to punch in the throat someone who lets their kid cry at a movie theater. Also, their child will be remanded into the custody of someone with common sense. This will be known as the “Child Re-allocation” act.
The FU will work to guarantee the right of every American to shoot someone who honks their horn at 6 AM outside their door when they are picking someone up. This will be the “Honk at 6AM and Die” act.
The FU will guarantee the right of every woman to abortion if Ted Kennedy is the father. This will be titled as the “Common Sense” act.
The FU promises to make Politicians pay taxes on everything that they don’t pay taxes on now. Also, we vow to double the punishment for any illegal act that they get convicted of. This will be known as the “Screw ‘em Back” act.
So, on election day vote
for me, Bastard, for president. I promise to make shit better than it is already.
Remember that if I am not on the ballot you can always write in my name.
Or you can vote a straight ticket by writing in a simple “FU”
on the ballot.
